One of the primary struggles I have had in my life is that of being co-dependent…which is ‘to love people, places and things more than you love God.’  Co-dependency simply put is love with a hook on it.  Those who struggle with this emotional malady are giving love to get love in return.  The enemy uses this form of ‘love’ to skew our mindsets and whisper in our ear that if we don’t give away this kind of love, we will most certainly loose relationship with the one we are trying to ‘fix’ with our love.  Co-dependency is fear based, fear motivated idolatry. Many years ago, a valued spiritual father spoke the truth in love to me about my co-dependent nature.  I remember well the day that he said, “Gerri, you are loving your kids too much for the wrong reasons.”  I wanted to deck him…a sure sign that Father was bumping up against something big in my life that He wanted to change and I was resisting with all my might!  As my spiritual dad continued to speak, this is what he said and it hit the target of my heart and the tears began to flow.  He said, “Gerri, can’t you see that this kind of behavior with your children only produces in them greater irresponsibility rather than the responsible people you want them to become?”  I left the counseling session that day with a new perspective, but it took me years to gain the wisdom it would take to overcome the strongholds of unsanctified love and mercy in my life.

 I realize today that it is still an area I must daily guard my heart against.  My Father continues to heal me and set me free, but I must persist in working on this area of my life.  If you find yourself in the struggles of loving people, places or things more than you love God, it is my hope that the following words will unearth a place in your heart and you will seek to fear less and love more with the Father’s love.  May revelation and healing come in Jesus’ Name.

Letting Go

 To let go doesn’t mean to stop caring
It means I can’t do it for someone else

To let go is not to cut myself off
It is the realization that I cannot control another

To let go is not to enable
But to allow learning from natural consequences

To let go is to admit powerlessness
Which means the outcome is not in my hands

To let go is not to try and change or blame another
I can only change myself

To let go is not to care for
But to care about

To let go is not to fix
But to be supportive

To let go is not to judge
But to allow another to be a human being

To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes
But to allow others to effect their own outcomes

To let go is not to be protective
It is to permit another to face reality

To let go is not to deny
But to accept

To let go is not to nag, scold, or argue
But to search out my own shortcomings and to correct them

To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires
But to take each day as it comes

To let go is not to criticize and regulate anyone
But to try to become what dream I can be

To let go is not to regret the past
But to grow and live for the future

To let go is to fear less
And love more
(with the Father’s love)*

Author Unknown
*My emphasis added.