PITFH Blog

When the parental role is reversed and the child becomes responsible for the cares and needs of the parent or the marriage, it creates a profound wound in the child. This is often termed “Parental Inversion.” A more serious form of this occurs when the child becomes the emotional (and sometimes physical) support, confidant and comforter for the parent. This is referred to as “Emotional Incest” or “Substitute Mate.”
One of our clients told his story of emotional incest through a letter he wrote to his mother. (This was not to give to her but to use as an exercise to help him process the pain, grieve the impact of the unhealthy relationship, then forgive and heal). We share his letter here with his permission, in hopes that his story may […]

In an agonizing blog post, Kayla Stoecklein responded to her husband, Andrew’s, weekend suicide.

“It’s only been three days. Nothing can take away the suffocating pain I feel now you are gone,” Kayla writes. “I miss every part of you, I see you everywhere. I replay the events of that fateful day over and over again in my mind, wishing I could have done things differently. Wishing I could have held your hand one more time and prayed over you and told you how much I love you, how much I believe in you, and how God’s got this too.”

She continues, “You were right all along, I truly didn’t understand the depths of your depression and anxiety. I didn’t understand how real and how relentless the spiritual attacks were. The pain, […]

10:00AM EDT 8/8/2018 J. Lee Grady

My friend Charles wanted a mentor. He was eager to learn the ropes of ministry, so he asked an older pastor for training. The pastor agreed—but Charles soon realized the man wanted a valet, not an apprentice. Charles became the man’s “armor bearer.”
The man never took Charles on hospital visits, involved him in ministry assignments or prayed with him. Instead, Charles was expected to carry the guy’s briefcase, fetch coffee and take suits to the cleaners—with no salary offered. In this case, “armor bearer” was a hyper-spiritualized term for “slave.”
The bizarre armor-bearer trend became popular in churches more than 20 years ago, but unfortunately, it’s still practiced in some circles. It appeals to insecure leaders who need an entourage to make them feel important.
Some pastors […]

The Meaning Of “Laus Deo”

One detail that is seldom mentioned is that in Washington, D.C. there can never be a building of greater height than the Washington Monument.  With all the uproar about removing the Ten Commandments, etc., this is worth a moment or two of your time.
On the aluminum cap, atop the Washington Monument in Washington, D.C., are displayed two words: Laus Deo.  No one can see these words.  In fact, most visitors to the monument are totally unaware they are even there and for that matter, probably couldn’t care less.  Once you know Laus Deo’s history, you will want to share this with everyone you know.
These words have been there for many years; they are 555 feet, 5.125 inches high, perched atop the monument, facing skyward to the […]

Roger is working on a new eBook. Here is his introduction.

THE EVIDENCE IS IN
This writing is meant to cause us to reason together. It is basically my opinion on various issues in the church and in society. After 40+ years of walking with the Lord I am not looking for agreement from everyone as much as I am hoping for consideration of many issues. We must learn to have a positive impact in the church and on our society instead of withdrawing and watching our self-destruction take place. Breaking the power of religion in the church is just as important as breaking the power of demonic influence in society. We must learn to take the Kingdom of God wherever we go…not rules, do’s and don’ts […]

A wealthy man and his son loved to collect rare works of art. They had everything in their collection, from Picasso to Raphael. They would often sit together and admire the great works of art..

When the Vietnam conflict broke out, the son went to war. He was very courageous and died in battle while rescuing another soldier. The father was notified and grieved deeply for his only son.|
About a month later, just before Christmas, there was a knock at the door. A young man stood at the door with a large package in his hands.
He said, ‘Sir, you don’t know me, but I am the soldier for whom your son gave his life He saved many lives that day, and he was carrying me to safety when a bullet […]

A Note from Roger and Gerri:  We found this article from Clay Sikes to be YES AND AMEN FROM US!  This article strikes a chord with us when he says, “Those who are flowing into this ‘converging flow’  [moving from the Church Age to the Kingdom Age] do so without prejudice, reconceived notions, or stout traditions – just love!  … Those most in danger of missing this move are those most bound to their personal spiritual traditions.”

We all are drawn to the government or country that most serves our needs. We want safety and security, and a government that will align itself with our way of thinking. In these volatile times there is no government or country that can provide that. God has offered us a country (called heaven), and […]

Gerri’s Journal – June 26, 2018

I sat recently at the corner of 17^th and Main Street in Durango waiting for the signal light to change.  Suddenly I had a flash back of another time sitting at that same signal years ago.
An officer from the Durango Police Department rolled up in his cruiser, red lights flashing, jumped out in full uniform, over-rode the traffic signal and ordered the traffic to stop from all directions.
Wondering what was happening, I looked up to see a black hearse approaching the intersection with a long funeral procession following.  They turned at the intersection and headed toward the cemetery.  Nothing unusual about that I thought.  What was a profound site was the way that Police Officer snapped to attention and saluted the hearse and the family […]

This article was taken from Charisma Magazine

Twenty months ago this week, my 88-year-old father was weeding in his backyard when he slipped off an embankment and fell four feet onto his concrete driveway. My mother found him a few minutes later. He was lying in a pool of blood. He had no idea he had sustained a brain injury that would sap his mobility, speech and most of his memories.

The next day, I drove the familiar eight hours from Florida to Georgia to sit by my dad’s hospital bed. It was painful to watch him struggle. I knew he’d never be the same. I called my wife, and we quickly decided to sell our house and move to my parent’s town to take care of Daddy.

We then began what I […]

Is it possible to walk through pain and come out the other side really okay? Yes. Is it easy? No. Is it worth it? Most definitely. Jesus said, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” (Matthew 5:4). In other words, mourning is necessary; it’s the process that leads to wholeness. Yet many Christians are afraid of pain and believe their only responsibilities are to cheer people up. Consequently, hurting people push down their pain instead of confronting it. This leads to a life of unresolved agony. As children of God, we must learn how to walk away from pain (not hide it), so that we can become healthy and whole people who live joyful lives. So let’s take a look at some practical steps for walking away […]