Below is a testimony we received recently. It is a wonderful glory story of the love of the Father working profoundly in a life that was broken and lifeless…until the ministry of Jesus, the power of the Holy Spirit, and the love of the Father came to heal the broken hearted and set the captive free.
I have longed for love all of my life. It was my search for love that caused me to look for it in all the wrong places. Indeed love is not just an emotion, but it is a necessity. It was this pursuit of love that seemed to escape me. Nevertheless, pursue I would.
Sometime ago my pastor commented to me, “There was a time in your life when you were very joyful and care free.” Immediately my mind went back to my early childhood but then something or someone stole my smile, my laughter and my joy. What happened to me? From that point on in my life I have known nothing but pain and sorrow. The sum of my life could be described with these words: rejection, fear, self-hatred, disappointments, anger, confusion, depression, failure, addictions, suicide and the list goes on and on.
At 33 years old, I came to know Jesus as my Savior. Finally I had hope for tomorrow, yet I couldn’t seem to shake this cloud of gloom that hovered over my soul. I desperately wanted a new life, but even many years after my salvation experience I was still battling depression, anger, fear and sexual addictions. I saw God as a hard taskmaster and everything was such a struggle for me. I wandered from job to job and church to church looking for peace and fulfillment, but my search was futile. I hated my life and I held God responsible.
Then one day the unexpected happened. A friend approached me with caution asking if I had ever considered Christian counseling. I must admit that counseling never entered my mind, but I was desperate. During my first session, the counselor asked, “Do you know what love is?” Then he told me that love was the missing ingredient in my life. I continued meeting with the counselor and I began to smile again. I thought things couldn’t get much better, but God was just beginning the healing process with me. A year later I was introduced to Places in the Father’s Heart and oh the joy that floods my soul.
Father is using Roger and Gerri to feed me with knowledge and understanding and it is freeing my mind, soul and spirit so that I may receive and experience the Father’s great love. With gladness I have given my Heavenly Father permission to perform open heart surgery on me. He is doing exceedingly and abundantly above all that I could ask or think.
For so many years I had cried out to God asking Him to show me the roots of the problems I was experiencing and He is doing just that. As Roger and Gerri often say, “Pain out, and His love in.” I am now allowing Father to uncover my issues of fear, shame, anger, insecurities and the many walls I have placed around my heart to protect myself from further hurt. With great joy I am letting go of past hurts and forgiving all who have hurt me, abandoned me or rejected me. In the midst of letting go, Father God is restoring and healing broken relationships in my family. I am no longer a victim, but I am victorious because of His great love. Indeed there is a healing balm for the sin sick soul. It is His love. I am no longer in agreement with the thoughts of the adversary, but I am replacing ungodly beliefs and thoughts with the truth of God’s word. I am a Daughter of the Most High God.
The love of the Father has lifted me out of the pit of despair. The love of my God, my Abba Daddy has turned my mourning into joy. His love has captured me. He alone has given me beauty for ashes, and a garment of praise. Thank You, Daddy, for loving me to life.