Webster defines rejection like this: the action of being rejected; to refuse to accept, consider, or use; to refuse to hear, receive, or admit; to rebuff, repel as parents who reject their children; to refuse as lover or spouse, to cast off; to throw back; to repulse; to spew out.
I was rejected from the womb. I was a late in life pregnancy for my mother and while my earthly daddy was thrilled at the prospect of my arrival, my mother faced huge health issues and a very difficult pregnancy and delivery with me. She remained physically ill for much of the first year of my life. As I grew up, she became obsessed with my weight taking me to one doctor after another to ‘fix’ me. As a result, I learned to live by the lie that I would never measure up to her expectations of what she thought I should weigh. I was never allowed sweets or goodies and I was 10 years old before I ever tasted a Coke Cola! I vividly remember the day when I did get my first sip! It was a huge memory in my life! A good one!
As a result of this rejection of who God really made me, I began living a life of huge self-hatred and sense of failure. It would be a long time before I discovered that “I am fearfully and wonderfully made and loved by my Father just as I am.” My weight continues to be an issue in my life, but it no longer defeats me. I can look in the mirror honestly and without a sense of pride say, “I like me.”
Until I met Father in January of 2004, rejection remained a huge part of my life. I had often been involved in ministry sessions both corporate and private where the issue of rejection was tackled and I did see some progress, but when I met Father, things dramatically changed for me in the areas of my rejection. I was completely embraced by Him and more profoundly, I began to realize that no matter when I was rejected or by whom, He loved me and accepted me just as I was at that very moment. It was then my true legitimacy was born and I became a daughter of the Most High God with all its privileges.
Today, Roger and I spend a great deal of our time in prayer ministry sessions with those who are seeking relief from the pain in their lives. I would estimate that nearly 95% of all we minister to have issues of rejection in some form. The other 5% have already seen these issues resolved in their lives. Yes, it is true. I believe that ALL of us have rejection issues of some kind. It is difficult to maneuver through life without experiencing rejection at some point.
Identifying rejection isn’t difficult. Its results are painful and crippling especially in the life of the believer. We see people who reject others to keep from being rejected. In relationships, they automatically push others away because they fear being rejected and so they reject first to keep from suffering the pain of rejection themselves. Often they have made the vow ‘I will never let others get too close to me.’ Vows become self fulfilling prophecies! The message sent in the spirit is ‘don’t get too close to me, because if you do, you won’t like me.’ Underlying this lie that they live by is the root issue of self-hatred.
Rejection protection comes in many different forms. Often we see folks who try and buy that protection by attempting to maintain a ‘peace at any price’ attitude, or they often take on a false role of servant mentality seeking to purchase relationship by love with a hook on it. This can also lead directly into a co-dependent relationship where we love people, places or things too much for the wrong reason. Thus it becomes love with a hook ~ we want something in exchange for our love.
Finally as we look at rejection, we find those who are performance orientated. We call them “PO’s”! They will perform for love, attention, and affection to hold rejection at bay. They become slaves for God instead of sons and daughters of God. This action is rampant in churches and ministries today. They not only perform for man’s love, attention, and affection but they also perform for God’s love, attention and affection. Their thinking takes them to ‘if I just DO enough, I will be loved and not rejected.’ In reality, the truth is as we have said so often, “it’s not in the DOING, it is in the BEING.” It is all about an intimate, personal relationship with Father God. It is not about the gifts, or the anointing or even His Presence in our lives. It is about intimacy with Him. In order to find the solution and freedom from rejection, we must find its root cause in each individual. The roots
must be cut off and then old habit patterns broken so that we live the truth instead of the lie. In my case, it was necessary to go with the Holy Spirit all the way back to my womb experience. It was there that I obtained the freedom that set this captive free from rejection and where I found true legitimacy in my Father.
Be blessed and highly favored of God.