I recently counseled with a very bright and engaging mid-aged couple. Tom’s a seminary professor and Mary (not their real names) is a psychologist. Despite their intelligence and education, they could not resolve their marital conflict. It recalled my belief that unresolved conflicts are like icebergs.
An iceberg is a large piece of freshwater ice that has broken off a glacier or an ice shelf and is floating freely in open salt water. Another name for iceberg is “ice mountain”.
Ninety percent of an iceberg is below the surface and not visible, thus making icebergs serious maritime hazards. The expression “tip of the iceberg”, illustrates a difficulty that is only a small, visible part of a larger, complex problem.
In their case the tip of the conflict was her accusation that he treated […]